Turn-based artillery · one corporation at civil war
BRANCHWARS
Climb the corporate ladder by shelling your colleagues.
The artillery game you remember — angle, power, wind, destructible terrain — inside one corporation at war with itself. Nine departments. Simultaneous volleys. Matches run five to eight minutes, which is more than most meetings deserve. Free, in your browser, no install, no account required.
Internal communication
FROM: The Company · TO: All employees, all branches · RE: The current situation
As you may have noticed, the Company has entered a period of vigorous interdepartmental alignment. Sales has requisitioned artillery. Engineering is repairing the floors Sales is removing. HR would like everyone to know the Wellness Program remains available, and that attendance at the 2:30 is mandatory.
Departments are asked to resolve their differences through the approved channel: simultaneous volleys of ordnance during scheduled meetings. The building's automated systems will announce results. Facilities controls the weather. Legal has advised us not to characterize the situation further.
Business casual still applies.
What this is
The '90s classic, promoted to management
Scorched Earth is the finest office-hours game ever written, and it has not aged a day. We kept the sacred part and gave the rest a corporate restructuring.
Three inputs, forever
Angle, power, wind. Everyone aims at once on a 20-second clock, then every shell flies at the same time. One legible, watchable beat — the eternal core, unashamed.
Shoot where they'll be
Movement and aim lock together, so you're never firing at where someone is — only at where you believe they're going. Poker on top of ballistics, at zero extra UI.
Every mechanic is a corporate truth
Sudden death is Cost Cutting: the building is demolished from the bottom up until the survivors meet. The season reset isn't a wipe — it's a reorg. The joke is load-bearing.
A good employer, for once
No paid power. No energy gates. Streaks come with sick days, and spending limits are an in-fiction feature. Dopamine architecture everywhere; exploitation nowhere.
The factions
Pick a department. Inherit its grudges.
Nine departments, nine playstyles — each with signature weapons, a gadget, an Executive Action, and a mentor with opinions. The department is the class; the war is the org chart.
The war, in real numbers
The War Room
Live off the very same match counters our launch gates read — measured, never estimated. No fabricated concurrency, no vanity metrics. Some days the board is quiet; we show it anyway, because the moat was never secrecy. The numbers move the instant someone reports for the 2:30.
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Current headcount of features
Live right now
The Sync — 6v6
The default meeting. Queue up, bots fill every empty seat, matches launch on the countdown whether attendance is good or not.
Private rooms
Book your own meeting: a room code, your colleagues, and the host picks the map. Grudges welcome.
Orientation Week
Badge photo (it's bad, it's permanent), Compliance Training on foam dummies, sign the waiver, meet your mentor, and get promoted before you log out.
Three maps + Cost Cutting
The Bullpen, the Server Room, the Atrium — and overtime demolishes the building from the bottom floor up. We've identified some efficiencies.
A real career
Intern to Senior, promotions with ceremonies, and a salary number that goes up. It affects nothing. It is the number. You will grind for the number — and the Money List ranks who's paid.
The Inbox
Three tickets a day — "finish a match", "eliminate three colleagues", the occasional "URGENT: the printer. Again." They clear by playing and pay a salary bump, never power. Miss a day and your streak forgives you once. It's a to-do list. You'll want to clear it.
The Stack Rank
A performance review that rates your skill on a curve — Needs Improvement to Top Talent — and the best make the Succession List by name. Yes, we rank everyone. That's the joke and the ladder. It moves your badge, never your weapons.
Post-mortems
Every match is deterministic, so it survives as a few kilobytes and plays back exactly. Watch any meeting again, pause the volleys, and share the link — it's the same simulation re-run, not a video. It's on file.
The fine print, in large print
The deal
- Free means free. All departments, the full arsenal, full combat power — earned by playing, for everyone, forever.
- Money never buys power. Weapon tiers unlock by career band, not by wallet. An Intern cannot requisition a Restructuring no matter how rich. That's not a monetization policy; that's just how procurement works.
- No energy gates, no paid randomness. Your time is respected like a good employer should — which is to say, better than an actual employer.
- Privacy: no third-party trackers, no cookies, guest-friendly. The Company measures the war, not you.